Monday, December 13, 2010

Christmas and mixed Blessings

Hello there kids,

How are you two doing? You must be very excited about the Christmas holidays and all the fun that comes with this time of year. I know I am! It can also be a time of great sadness when we think of those people that are no longer here and those who are far less fortunate than we are. I want you to know that I love you and miss you very much and that I always hope that your Christmas is filled with love and good times.

It will never be easy for me to think of you during the Christmas season. I just miss you so much!

I think about how much I miss you and it does make me sad, it used to make me angry, mad at your mom and Simon Moon but that's not me anymore, I haven't been that person in a long time. Your mom did the only thing she knew how and I think because she has been hurt and betrayed by her own father, family and friends that are close to her right now (although sadly she doesn't know this yet) all of her decisions were based on anger and maybe revenge in some way.... I'm not sure but I want you kids to know that I don't wish for your mom to be unhappy or for you to think that I hate her, I don't, I never wanted her to be unhappy because if she's suffering then so are you and you are my number one priority. I hope you can understand this, when you are old enough to see both sides I believe you will.

Recently someone from my past made me realize how much I have changed in the last few years and how much I value the people in my life, how much I value the two of you and how important it is to be true to oneself. I know none of this makes sense to you now but it will.

Enough of the heavy stuff... I want you to be excited about your upcoming holidays and family time and playing with friends and all the wonderful things that make you feel happy inside during this snowy season.

I'll write more later, just wanted to drop a few lines while I was thinking of it.

Love you kids,

Birthday Cake!

Birthday Cake!

Family Reunion

Family Reunion